I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
