just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
