I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
