you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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