After last night, I could never be a politician.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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