you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
