im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize