I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
