On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
