He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
