he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
