We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize