The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
