so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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