One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
