She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize