I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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