so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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