i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
