I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
