I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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