Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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