how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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