Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
