I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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