Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
