this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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