No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
