I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
