..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize