I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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