haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
