I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
