Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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