and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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