totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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