end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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