They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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