My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
