I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize