Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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