You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
two words...techno handjob
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
