I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
