i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
