Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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