I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize