Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I cut my penus on the lid.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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