you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
