i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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