You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
