I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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