we have officially lost it.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
