THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
