Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
