I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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