When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
