dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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