Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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